What will you choose between Friendship and Ego?


I wanted to choose ego sana, but then I realized that I shouldn't. Impulsive kasi ako minsan kaya hindi
ko alam kung anong gagawin. There were times na I'll just say what I want not thinking if it'll hurt the person or not. 


I had an argument with a friend yesterday morning (yes, my Monday started with a fight. Great. I'm such a fail, I know. ), and it wasn't really not the normal 'sagutan' or 'asaran' namin, but a serious argument that led us to not talk the day. Anger ate me, and I can say na 'di talaga maganda pakiramdam like I wanted to go home ASAP just to drift that off to sleep. Ayoko kasi na may nakakasamaan ng loob lalo na't close sa'kin dahil ang bigat sa pakiramdam. I wanted to keep what I've said yesterday that i will not do anything to fix that situation, pero mukhang hindi ako makakatulog ulit ng maayos mamayang gabi kung yun ang gagawin ko. 


I took a deep sigh and prayed. 


I know now what to do. 
It's to drop my ego and do something nice. Kailangang ayusin ang hindi magandang nangyari 'cause I wanted our friendship to survive. I don't want to risk that dahil lang sa non-sense argumentation. We're friends, so I have to do something about it. I love my friends. A LOT! So I'll make it up to her soon. 


"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17


How 'bout you, what will you choose?

This morning, Naiz tweeted something. The conversation goes like this:


Naiz: Don't let him have the satisfaction of knowing you'll always be there waiting.
Me: Why not?
Naiz: Because he will take you for granted and you'll end up getting hurt. Deym


She has a good point on that, but what if the person made you feel so special and even asked you to stay and (you think) both of you feels the same feelings? What will you do then? 


Ugh. Frustration overload. 

‎"Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it." -James 4:17 (NLT)


When we know what God wants us to do, but then we refuse to obey, we’re ignoring the voice of the Lord, and sinfully choosing our way. -Sper


We may make excuses for not obeying God, but He still calls it disobedience. 


OBEDIENCE is the highest form of LOVE.

I had my little solitude time this morning. Though I don't have my Bible with me, but thanks to technology 'cause I can surf internet and browse the <a href="http://odb.org/">Our Daily Bread</a> website every morning. I started doing this for like maybe, last week. Reading verses helps me back on my feet and grew more spiritually. It sometimes (or often times bring me to tears just to realize how good is God in my life. These words make me walk on my path with faith and love. It helps me a lot as I start again the things I've lost for quite some time now. I've been loving the (Music) ministry where I belong, and I'll be forever grateful for that.


I want to share the verse I had today in Isaiah 55:9, the Lord says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways." When we pray, we often wanted to have a fast and quick response from God. But we have to remember that God has His own time and way to answer us. And sometimes we got unanswered prayers. Well of course, all of us does, right? Just like Paul when he had his great struggle --the time that he was rejected by the Jews--that led his acceptance by the Gentiles. We just have to understand God's heart in the situation.


Whatever prayer we have in our hearts, let's hold on to what God is instore for us. Unanswered prayer brings us the profound difference between our perspective and God's.


"Prayer imparts the power to walk and not faint." -Chambers


My prayer this morning, "Lord, have Your way in us. Amen!"

Confuse, that's how I am now.


Now I have to wear emotions like a shirt. I've experience pain, now I wanted to have with me the happiness. 


Don't stick TOO much to that thing you're wearing as of the moment. You need to be flexible and ready to embrace what's left behind in your closet. You gotta believe that there's more to this life and more to see than what is being laid there infront of your bare eyes. 


Brace yourself for the moment that can flip your world upside down. An experience that can make you go crazy until you realize it's over and done.


Analyze.
Think. 


You need to balance things from your surrounding and you can see the difference from the world where you're putting yourself up. 

Incoherent. A little. 
ADGASHDGHASDJHASDJAHSDJAJ


Wasn't really expecting to see that but it hurts.
I'm such a fail. 
But anyways, I'm just starting and I know I can cope up with this thing ASAP. 


My heart is beating so loud and i'm getting goosebumps (maybe just because of the cold wind)
I will not loose this battle.
All I have to do is change the way I should treat that person. That's it.
I'll wait until the day it's clear.


Heartache.
Spare me, please.


A sudden shock wave hit me without warning.


Okay, this is nonsense.
I should stop now.

Love. 
What is love?


According to Wikipedia, "it is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another."  


Am I having this feeling AGAIN?
Or it's just inside my head? 
Can't express it though. 
I wanted to hear the exact words from him. 
I wanted to see things clearly and not just a blurry feeling that is being kept inside.


I don't even see or hear any clear actions and words..


Hey you! Yea you! 
When are you goin' to tell me how you feel?


A/N
Praying that this isn't as blurry as my eyesight.